The Power Of Smiling

Just the other day I was at a rather large, annual party held on a somewhat rural, agricultural university campus (astute readers from New Zealand will doubtless be able to guess which famous party I am talking about)

In between the dancing, socializing, and inspecting of fellow partygoers costumes, something rather unfortunate happened to myself. Standing in a busy queue, someone turned very suddenly and caught my face with their shoulder. The concomitant result was plenty of pain, and quite a nasty chipped tooth.

As somebody who takes great care of his teeth, and who has had much expensive orthodontic work performed in the past, I was concerned and irritated. The combination of the morning's drinking wearing off (afternoon hangovers are the work of Satan, just so you know) and a chipped and jagged tooth meant my mood plunged faster than a rock.

Here is the crux of the matter- I was no longer in a good mood. Because I was no longer in a good mood I no longer smiled at people; and because I was no longer smiling, no new introductions of a more 'adult' nature were made.

The power of smiling should not be underestimated. A good smile can transform you from the moody malingerer into the life and soul of the party. I don't care what some PUA experts say about smiling being a sign of betaness- I can guarantee you will have more success with a natural, happy-go-lucky, Cheshire Cat smile than trying to mathematically calculate the exact 'alpha' degree of mouth-corner upturn.

When you walk into the joint, smile.

When you make eye contact with a girl, smile.

When you pass someone on the street, smile.

You will not regret smiling- a natural smile will warm the coldest of hearts IMHO.

The moral of the story? Look after your teeth. Brush, floss, and rinse with mouthwash. Hygiene is important for good game, and looking after your smile will pay dividends. Not only that, but it will also save you a hell of a lot of money.

With interest, my tooth cost me all of $0 to have fixed. Thank goodness for ACC.

Why You Should Learn An Instrument In Your Spare Time

This blog is primarily aimed at males, so I'm gonna go out on a bit of a whim here and guess the majority of my valued readers enjoy such manly pursuits as video gaming (Gears of War 3 is a lot of fun, I might add) watching sport- either in person or on the TV, and watching epic action movies. Call me stereotypical if you will, I don't really care. The majority of guys I know are frequently engaged in one of the three actions listed above in their spare time.

Now the great thing about spare time is that you can do whatever you want with it- apart from robbing a bank, because that shit is illegal (not that it should be, as money is all but worthless these days anyway) However, today I would like to extol the virtues of dedicating your spare time to learning a musical instrument. It doesn't matter which one you pick, nor does it matter how old you are. Learning to play a musical instrument will give you that extra edge in your life.

Here is why you should put down the remote or controller and learn an instrument:

Expands your mental power and helps to keep your brain sharp. One need to pull up the many studies that confirm those who play instruments are blessed with greater cognitive function. How did I get so smart? Piano and guitar, that's how.

Assists hand-eye coordination. Being well-coordinated is an absolute blessing in this life. If your hands can't match what your eyes can see then you have a problem.

Chicks dig musical talent. Seriously, your value in the eyes of just about every girl out there will go through the roof if you can strum out a few chords, or rattle off a nice piano jazz piece. Bonus credit if you can play the music of popular artists such as John Mayer (his pop nonsense of course, most girls won't know any of his excellent blues work) Going to a house party and jumping on the resident piano or guitar is the easiest way to captivate a crowd; if you have a bit of skill and polish everyone in the party, guys included, will look up to you. Instant confidence and 'swagga' without the need for clumsy, booze-laced conversation.

There you have it people, learn a musical instrument. My recommendation is either piano or guitar; I taught myself both, and am still continuing to learn to this day. When all my mates are sitting around playing Playstation, I am instead jamming out on the 6 string or tinkering with the ivory, and guess what- I'm a better man for it.

Getting Your Game On, Roman Style

The greatest civilization the Earth has ever seen didn't just give us aqueducts, archways, republican politics (that's traditional republicanism, not 'Republican Party' republicanism) and stories of epic battles. No gentlemen, we can also thank the Romans of old for some very wise quips on dating and game.

Courtesy of Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso for the historically minded) we have a glimpse into some classicist game. It doesn't come much more old school than the following advice from Ovid's Ars Amatoria/The Art of Love, the following section teaching some rather amusing 'Horse Race' game:

"Sit right next to your girlfriend - no one will stop you - and squeeze up beside her as closely as possible. It's really easy to do... the rules of seating compel you to touch her"

There you go beta-boys, don't be afraid of physical contact with your lady of choice. If you are of a nervous dispensation then find a good excuse to get close (the 'rules of seating' can still compel 2000 years on)

As an aside it should be noted that 'girlfriend' in the context of Ovid's work actually refers to a woman you are trying to have an affair with. A man in ancient Rome, regardless of marital status, could be banging any lady he wanted, provided she wasn't already married. However, it still paid dividends to be subtle.

Conversations should begin with no problem; just start out with the same comments that everyone else is making.

The message to take away from this is that you shouldn't ponder over conversation topics- just feed off those around you for easy banter.

Perhaps a speck of dust will settle on your girlfriend's breast; be sure to brush it off with your hand. Even if there is no speck of dust, pretend - and keep brushing off nothing! Take advantage of every opportunity.

'Nuff said; no explanation necessary.

Conclusion? I was born 2000 years too late. PUA material was much better pre-printing press methinks.

Hiatus/The (Marxist) Empire Strikes Back

Hiatus

A gap or interruption in time, or continuity; a break.

"my blog will be on hiatus for awhile"

This definition brought to you courtesy of Urban Dictionary.

The Great Reclamation has been on hiatus for a month, and I apologize profusely for this reckless behavior. However, because I have a life outside of the Internet (and it is one that has become increasingly busy in recent weeks) I have not had much of a chance to post anything. I fully intend on returning to a full and detailed posting schedule from now on.

With that being said I would like you to turn your attention to the interesting events of the 'Occupy Wall St' movement. Namely yours truly would like to point out the stupidity and greed of demanding 'free shit' from the government, then hating on a group of infinitely smarter people who get already get their hook ups- they just get much more than Joe Schmuck.

The Marxist tinge of these '99%'/Occupy Wall St protesters is rather disconcerting. Sure, I am all against the greed and corporate cronyism that permeates Wall St (and government in general) but people need to understand that it is central banking, bloated & irresponsible government, and a fiat currency-based financial system that has caused the current mess.

If it were up to me then I would hand out copies of the following brilliant piece of writing on The Daily Bell, which is a great site anybody of intellectual credential should be reading regularly.

The foul stench of socialism still permeates our society, and I shall crusade tirelessly against such a terrifying leviathan.

Copyright Infringement Isn't Theft

A bill was recently passed in New Zealand, finally making it illegal to download copyrighted content from peer-to-peer services such as Torrents or Limewire (or whatever it is teenyboppers use to download Lil Wayne singles) Accompanying this is a three strikes system, wherein the ISP has to provide three warnings at the behest of the copyright owner, before action can be taken in court. At present, fines of up to $15,000 NZD are in order for those guilty.

As a champion of freedom and democracy I am totally against this kind of law. Copyright infringement isn't theft, and doesn't harm the creative talents responsible for creating content. However, there are three even bigger reasons why I feel this piece of legislation/shit is one of the scariest things ever to happen in a legal sense, at least in my lifetime:

1. It is the first law I am aware of in any Western country that presumes guilt, until innocence is proven. Even a serial killer standing in the dock is innocent until the jury has given its verdict, and the judge has passed sentence. Innocent until proven guilty is one of the great achievements of thought and reason, so with the 'Skynet' law New Zealand has taken a giant leap back toward the stone age.
2. The Internet account holder is legally liable, not the person who downloaded the copyrighted content. Little Johnny comes home from school and downloads a few episodes of the Simpsons. Bye bye three strikes, and hello big fines for daddy. This is a case of shotgun litigation, and it is a serious concern to anybody who has a brain.
3. It is another case of pandering to the American corporate machine. As much as I like Americans in general, it saddens me to see my country become the another whipping boy the United States. So keen to sacrifice everything in the name of a free trade deal (which we all know is just an excuse for economic exploitation at the hands of whoever the dominant partner happens to be) was the NZ government that they betrayed the interests of literally millions of people. Whatever happened to the days where NZ banded together and told America to 'fuck off' with its nuclear warships?

Now that the /rant tag has appeared, it is time to discuss the crux of this post- namely why copyright infringement in terms of digital downloading isn't theft.

The amount of brain dead morons who have filled the TV screens and newspaper pages over the past few weeks insisting that copyright infringement is theft is actually incredible. It's almost as if all these people are controlled by one collective consciousness, doing whatever the corporate overlords tell them to do.

Copyright infringement, internet piracy, 'illegal downloading', call it what you will, but it isn't theft. Why? Read on and be enlightened, eager and valued reader.

If I were to walk into a record store and pinch a CD off the rack, then walk out without paying, that is theft. I have physically removed that CD from the possession of the record store, which means that they can no longer sell that particular disk and make a profit on it. My thieving activities have denied another party the ability to sell their product. I have taken something that is physically limited in quantity from somebody else, to their detriment.

Now if I were to download that same CD off PirateBay, I have not stolen anything. The RIAA will claim I have stolen the CD, but most of its staff are too busy fornicating with farmyard animals to see the wood for the trees. I have infringed on someone's copyright, but I have not hindered any group or individual's ability to sell that CD. I have not forcibly taken it from anyone's possession. I have made an electronic copy of a file, without prior permission of the rights holder, and it is as simple as that.

Of course the counterargument to this is that downloading music, movies, tv shows etc works to the detriment of the copyright holder and creative brains behind the content. After all, if I download it for free, that is one less copy of the CD sold, or so the flawed logic goes. It is this type of thinking that results in those imposing 'Record companies lose $1 billion in profits due to piracy' styled headlines we see more and more. If x number of files are downloaded at y value, then z is the amount of money we have lost. Simple arithmetic for simple people.

Why is this assumption flawed? It's easy- the vast majority of people who download files would never have purchased the content legally anyway. Why? Because music, movies, and games are hideously overpriced, and because people just don't have the spare cash. If you live on the minimum wage and work 40 hours a week then you might be lucky to have enough money left over after rent, food, bills, and utilities have been paid to buy yourself a new pair of trousers, just to avoid getting arrested for pubic indecency.

Instead, downloading helps the entertainment industry and creative types by allowing one to sample before purchase. The number of albums I have gone out and bought after hearing on a pirated mix-CD, or that have snaked their way onto my Ipod via other illicit means, is phenomenal. Not to mention the tickets I have purchased to gigs, safe in the knowledge that I am going to see an artist I enjoy listening to (if I had paid for all those CDs I would never have had the money to buy my ticket) The only losers are corporate fat cats. But who gives a shit about those tossers anyway?

Here is the 'beauty' of the collapsing society in which we eek out a meager existence- you are made poor through taxation and inflation, then punished by the ever-richer super rich for being poor by being denied access to creative material such as music and television, which is the only escape many have from the doldrums of the rat race. So you're too poor to avoid the overpriced stuff that made us a fortune- FUCK YOU, YOU DIRTY PLEBS!

I could go on for hours about why copyright infringement isn't theft, but I don't want to wear out my keyboard. Needless to say, I shall return to tie up any loose ends. For the meantime, take away the following message-

The rape of Western civilization continues unabated.

p.s. Before any liberal arts college student jumps on here and says words to the effective of 'that's what you get for being capitalist', let me remind your ill-informed self that true capitalism died its death many years ago. The label exists now only as a convenient focal point for foolish socialists and counter-culture teenagers with no experience of the real world to aim their misguided hatred at. The free market would not allow such nonsense to occur.

Asian 'Penis' Pickup

You may have already seen this video before, in which case you should watch it again. If not, get ready to be amused, bemused, and impressed by this guy's confidence to use perhaps the worst pick up line ever.

Warning- real life results may vary.

If you have any amusing videos of the like to share, please drop a comment. I am currently quite hungover, and could do with a good laugh.

Why You Shouldn't Use Facebook Chat

One of the most popular parts of the Facebook experience is the chat system. If you grew up in the Internet age you probably remember with much fondness the days of MSN messenger. These instant chat systems are a convenient compromise between texting and calling. However, for the purposes of game, you should not be using Facebook chat (or any other similar service)

Instant messaging systems lend themselves to long conversations of the type which gradually kill female interest. Because you can so easily hold council with multiple people at once there is no incentive to just kill the conversation if it is going nowhere. Instead, it is common to see more beta guys talking for hours on end about absolutely nothing at all. I have personally witnessed this kind of shameful and emasculating activity on numerous occasions.

Facebook chat plays perfectly into the hands of the picky female as it is not a traditional means organizing a date. If a guy texts a girl, there is a high chance he is going to try and set up a date. If a guy calls a girl, there is an even higher chance. However, if a guy talks to a girl via IM then it is basically a piss-weak extension of face-to-face communication. The kind of conversations that take place via the medium of instant messaging generally thus:

Hapless beta - 'Heya, what's up?'

Girl - 'Not much, you?'

continue for the next two hours without progressing past that conversational point.

Girl - 'lulz bye' - proceeds to get plowed by jerk who sends her one, single line, text message a week.

Hapless beta to all his other friends via chat -'ZOMG me and Girl just talked for, like, hours on Chat. We are so, like, right for each other.'

You want to be creating an air mystery about yourself. You want to be laconic. You don't want to be constantly available. Therefore, avoid Facebook chat and other IM services like the plague.